5 Things A Squatter Can Do To Be More Influential Than Any Bonafide.

An adage goes thus: ‘A drug is best prescribed by a pharmacist’… or better still a herbalist.

Therefore,before starting my epistle, I will give reasons why I’m fit to write on this topic.

As a fresh graduate from the University First Choice and the nation’s pride, I have spent 4 years of my stay squatting in 6 different rooms of which are in 5different hostels and with 4 different landlords. you know what all these can mean right? Lol… meet me in person to ask how I managed to do all that.

Away from the aforementioned, under-listed are the techniques I adopted in ensuring I remained very influential in all of these rooms, which I’d aspire all squared to learn from.


  1. Act dumb within your first 2 weeks


Allow me remind you that people fear quiet people more than those who talk. Hence, this will give every room member a confusing impression about your personality. They’d want to be cautious with dealing with you. They’d tend to give you more attention. They want to know when you’d first utter another sentence aside the good morning, good afternoon and good evening you always say.

This will help you achieve the 6th law of power which states that you should court attention at all cost

  1. Be stupidly courteous with greetings and apologies.


credit: successyeti.com

Immediately after your dumb session (i.e after your first 2 weeks) wake up the next morning and surprise everyone with your courtesy. Greet everyone before they greet you (call their names when greeting). What this will do is that it will make them feel more important than they ever thought. Remember, boys barely greet themselves in the morning, neither do girls.

  1. Contribute only intelligently



Undeniable is the fact that there’d be a day you’d either be returning from class or a day you’d be in the room when an argument or debate will ensue. Try as much as you can to keep shut if what you have to say isn’t better than silence. Hence, if you must say anything at all, ensure its something intelligent.

The 4th law of power has it that you should “always say less than necessary


  1. Never take sides



For the sake of reiteration I’d say it again: never take sides! No matter who and who is involved in a heated argument or malice, instead of supporting any of the parties, try to settle their ‘beef’ by outlining each party’s mistakes (because a situation like this will surely arise) and try to reconcile between both parties whenever that is necessary.This will enable you kill the fire to the malice once and for all.

Check out the 20th law yourself

  1. Be tactful with rendering help


credit: ohfact.com

Don’t be quick to render help. This sounds rather harsh but as harsh as it may sound, it’s the truth and I would give an example:

Imagine Someone who just finished consuming a bowl of rice with meat, stepping it down with a bottle of soft drink requesting you to loan out some amount to him/her to purchase another ration.This will definitely necessitate a rejection. A polite one though.

But consider another example: if the person were to be borrowing from you to satisfy a cogent need like say ‘requesting a certain amount to feed his empty stomach or to soak garrI, then no crime at all if he his helped in such instances. As this is highly encouraged.

The reason behind this isn’t farfetched: people barely remember the help others render to them. Even if they would, they only remember the most important ones.

Now tell me, of the two scenarios, which would be recalled or better appreciated?

These highlighted moves might sound dumb but it sure will win you the desired respect- one which will far outpace that given to any bonafide.

My name is Phillips Tunde but I loved to be addressed with the appellation Negro.

I’m a proud squatter!


featured image credit: dailymail.co.uk

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